I came back to my room all happy for Rama. I told Manthara, my maid, to prepare some hot water so that I could take a bath. While she was preparing the water, she told me she needed to talk to me. I told her that she could talk to me while I took bath.
After Manthara brought the water, Manthara said,
" Your Majesty, this might sound crazy, but you cannot make Rama be the successor. I heard from Rama's maid that once he becomes the ruler, he is going to kill you and your son."
When I heard this, I was devastated. I fell on the ground with anger and was scared for the future. I could not believe that Rama would back stab me in this way. I've tried so hard to become Dasharatha's beloved queen and I felt like I was about to lose everything I had worked for. I could not let Rama ruin my life or Bharata's life. I think this is enough chaos for the day. It is time for me to go to bed, but I do not know if I can fall asleep. Good night.
" Your Majesty, this might sound crazy, but you cannot make Rama be the successor. I heard from Rama's maid that once he becomes the ruler, he is going to kill you and your son."
When I heard this, I was devastated. I fell on the ground with anger and was scared for the future. I could not believe that Rama would back stab me in this way. I've tried so hard to become Dasharatha's beloved queen and I felt like I was about to lose everything I had worked for. I could not let Rama ruin my life or Bharata's life. I think this is enough chaos for the day. It is time for me to go to bed, but I do not know if I can fall asleep. Good night.
Image Source : Dasharatha and Kaikeyi
Next day
I could not sleep at all last night, and I cannot fall asleep again tonight either! I could not sleep at all last night. I was stressed and worried about what I should do to stop Rama from becoming the successor. I thought about killing him, but I was too scared to do that. I also thought about requesting a battle between Bharata and Rama so that they could fight for the throne.I went to go talk to Dasharatha first thing this morning. A long time ago, I had two wishes which Dasharatha granted me for doing him a favor. I decided to use both of them to save my life. First, I told Dasharatha to make Bharata the king. Second, I told Dasharatha to send Rama off to the forest for fourteen years. Dasharatha was upset because of my request, but he promised me that he would listen to my wish.
Although my request was out of the blue, Dasharatha listened to my wish and made my wish happen. Although I felt a little bad for Rama, I could not let him ruin my life. I also felt bad for Sita, Rama's wife. After all the chaos, the day ended up being a joyful day because Bharata came back from grandfather's house. I could not wait to tell him the good news! Bharata was happy to hear about the great news that he was going to be the new successor. For now,I made sure that he did not know what I did to Rama because I didn't want him to feel bad for him. Honestly, I think Bharata will probably figure it out sooner or later though. As a mother, all I wanted to do is to make my son happy. If people find out about what I did, they might think that I am evil and greedy. I do not know if I did the right thing, but hopefully, there won't be any Karma. I am going to sleep now. Good night.
I could not sleep at all last night, and I cannot fall asleep again tonight either! I could not sleep at all last night. I was stressed and worried about what I should do to stop Rama from becoming the successor. I thought about killing him, but I was too scared to do that. I also thought about requesting a battle between Bharata and Rama so that they could fight for the throne.I went to go talk to Dasharatha first thing this morning. A long time ago, I had two wishes which Dasharatha granted me for doing him a favor. I decided to use both of them to save my life. First, I told Dasharatha to make Bharata the king. Second, I told Dasharatha to send Rama off to the forest for fourteen years. Dasharatha was upset because of my request, but he promised me that he would listen to my wish.
Although my request was out of the blue, Dasharatha listened to my wish and made my wish happen. Although I felt a little bad for Rama, I could not let him ruin my life. I also felt bad for Sita, Rama's wife. After all the chaos, the day ended up being a joyful day because Bharata came back from grandfather's house. I could not wait to tell him the good news! Bharata was happy to hear about the great news that he was going to be the new successor. For now,I made sure that he did not know what I did to Rama because I didn't want him to feel bad for him. Honestly, I think Bharata will probably figure it out sooner or later though. As a mother, all I wanted to do is to make my son happy. If people find out about what I did, they might think that I am evil and greedy. I do not know if I did the right thing, but hopefully, there won't be any Karma. I am going to sleep now. Good night.
Author's Note: I decided to write a diary of Kaikeyi. Kaikeyi was one of the three wives of Dasharatha. When she heard that Rama was going to be the successor, she was happy, but later, she decided to make her son, Bharata, the king. Because Kaikeyi's servant told Kaikeyi about Rama's supposed plan, Kaikeyi try to stop Rama from becoming the successor. I decided to write about how Kaikeyi felt during the times. I've made some changes from the original story to add more drama and detail. To make the story more intense, I had Manthara create a rumor saying that Rama was going to kill Kaikeyi and Bharata. I believe that this added more reasons why Kaikeyi sent Rama into exile. I also condense the time frame to fit Bharata's arrival from the grandfather's house. I also change the reaction of Bharata when he heard that he was going to be the successor. I found Kaikeyi's character pretty interesting because she had both good and evil in her. I added some details which could go with the actual events. Although she is an evil character, I wanted to add some humane side of her and thought that writing a diary is a good way to show that she had some good in her. In the picture on the left, Kaikeyi is lying down because she was so jealous when she heard that Rama was going to be the successor. That scene was in the anger room and the picture depicts how angry Kaikeyi was.
Bibliography : Buck, William (1976). Ramayana: King Rama's Way.
Rama's exile was one of the most enticing events in the epic. I also chose the same topic for this week's storytelling. You did a great job at portraying Kaikeyi's concerns about her son and mixed emotions on sending Rama away. It seems reasonable that she wanted happiness for her son but she shouldn't have sent Rama on an exile.
ReplyDeleteI love this topic for a story. I like that you made Manthara extra deceiving by having her tell Kaikeyi that Rama would end up killing her son. I wrote a story similar to yours but it was from Manthara's point of view and now I wish I had something like that in my story!! I also love your last line of her wishing for no karma. Great way to end it and it foreshadows her son later hating her for it!
ReplyDeleteThis part of the Ramayana was exciting and and I love what you did with the story. I thought that telling it from Kaikeyi's perspective using a diary was a nice technique. When I first read the story this part confused me because I couldn't figure out Kaikeyi's emotions, but I think that you did a great job in your storytelling!
ReplyDeleteI love how you made this a diary entry by Kaikeyi. I did the same moment while we were reading Narayan's version of The Ramayana. The ending is ironic since her son winds up being bitter at her for doing this. It is funny how a person can do something and think it is for the best of someone else, but in reality, it is just for their selfish gain. Great job on your story, but be sure to reread it before you submit it to correct a few minor errors.
ReplyDeleteThis is an interesting way of telling this story, via a diary entry! I like how added so much depth to the mother’s personality. I do wish your version had provided even some glimpse as to why Rama had wanted to kill his stepmother and half-brother; you might consider adding in that detail. It would add a lot to the story. The fourth sentence begins with “It was happy”; you might change that to “I was happy”. Also, the formatting for your story is a little weird in the part with the dialogue. I had this same issue with a previous post of mine and I was able to fix it by editing the spacing directly in the blog post (NOT using another program, such as Microsoft Word). Another note in regards to format: it is generally a good idea to indent for each paragraph. Overall, you have a very good story here and you came at it from a creative viewpoint! You also have a nice, lengthy author’s note that provides a lot of relevant information.
ReplyDeleteBefore I even read the story, I noticed that your blog has a really cool aesthetic, which is great for your portfolio. The story is great too! It's interesting that you wrote it in the form of a diary entry. Like you said in your Author's Note, that was a really effective way to retell the story and capture both the good and evil in Kaikeyi. I thought your story organization was good too, particularly the way you arranged it so that she writes about the events each day and then how she feels about them. That seems realistic for a diary. I especially liked your character insight at the end, when you explored Kaikeyi's motivations. This made me feel much more sympathetic to her character, whereas it's very easy to see her as just a villain in Buck's story. The whole thing gives her a lot of depth, which is excellent.
ReplyDeleteI really liked this story and how you formatted it as Kaikeyi's diary. I thought this was a great way to see what she was feeling as she was doing this, especially because I feel like this part made so many people upset in the story. But I thought you did a great job at writing the story and making it come from her perspective, while adding in little details that helped the story come to life. The story had a great flow to it, and the design of the blog was also very appealing.
ReplyDeleteThe only suggestion I have is to proofread your story to check for grammar and repetition. I noticed that you repeated some sentences and words, so I think reading through the story out loud will help you find these and take them out. I also think looking for grammar and ways to make the verbs more active will help with making this a more powerful story.
But overall, great job! I really enjoyed reading it, and I look forward to reading more from you!
Hi Jae. I like how made your story in a diary format. It broke up the story really well and it was really cool to hear it in first person. I liked how you added the alleged death threat from Rama to influence Kaikeyi. I like this plot better than the story in the book I think. I wish that the maid had been found out as a liar and maybe some punishment could have been placed on her. I just don’t like that this whole series of events is her fault and she doesn’t have to deal with any repercussions. That’s just my personal opinion though. I like how you mentioned Karma in your story; it was a great thought to throw in your story. I like that you put a twist on the story to make Bharata happy and accepting about being the successor to the throne. Great job on this story!
ReplyDeleteHi Jae!
ReplyDeleteI decided to read your portfolio posting because I had read one of your other stories before. I like the diary format that you have going on with your portfolio. I think it is going to turn out great! I am looking forward to the next two stories you will post for this!
As far as your story goes, I would definitely suggest some more proof reading. There are a few repeated sentences in the story that need to be cut out. I would also suggest adding in a wider array of feelings for Kaikeyi. You used the word "happy" a few times. I think that it would work better to be a little more descriptive with the emotions!
Other than that, your story was really good! I think the diary format for the next two stories will work out well, and i'm looking forward to seeing who's diary I will get to read next!