One day, Sita heard some great news which might change her life. Sita was finally pregnant! She was so joyous that she could not handle her emotions that were going through her. Sita had tried so hard to become pregnant. The first thing that popped into her mind was to tell Rama the good news! When Rama heard the news, he was so happy! Sita also wanted to visit the Ganges river as a family tradition. Every woman who got pregnant visited the Ganges to make the body clean. Because the Ganges river was considered sacred, she wanted to go to the river and make sure that she was cleansed before she gave birth. However, there were some unexpected tragedies that were waiting for Sita.
There was an episode which led to this tragedy. Ten thousand years ago, many things happened to Sita. Sita was abducted by Ravana and had to live with him at his palace for a long time. Because people knew about Sita living at Ravana's palace they gossiped about Sita saying that she was dirty and not pure. The only person who did not hear the gossip was Rama. The gossip was cruel, so no one spoke about Sita in front of Rama.
Sita was still at the Ganges and one day, Rama was walking around the garden to refresh his mind. While taking a walk, he saw two of his officers talking and heard them gossiping about Sita. He hid behind the tree to listen to the officer's conversation secretly. The two officers were talking bad about Sita and calling her names because she lived with Ravana for a long time. Although Rama knew that Sita lived in Ravana's house, he did not know that people were talking bad about her. Rama knew that he could not have Sita live with him anymore because he did not want his reputation ruined as a king.
After a couple weeks, Rama called his brother,Lakshmana, and gave him a mission. The mission was to take Sita to the Ganges with Sumantra, who was the prime minister, and to abandon Sita there. It has been only a couple weeks since Sita came back from Ganges, but she was about to return to the Ganges. Although it was cruel, Rama had to make a decision. He did not want to hear people talking bad about Sita. Lakshmana thought it wasn't fair for Sita, but there was nothing he could do about the situation. Since Rama was the king, Lakshmana did not want to do anything that was against Rama. While this was all going on, Valmiki, King Janaka's friend, found out that Sita was about to be abandoned. Before Sita's father, King Janaka, passed away, he told his good friend Valmiki to watch over Sita. Although Valmiki was a hermit, the Gods allowed him to have the power to travel from place to place in a split second. To carry out this will of King Janaka, Valmiki was going to save Sita no matter what.
Lakshmana and Sumantra left Sita at the Ganges river. The Ganges river was the home of the goddess Ganga, who was an Indian Goddess. Ganga invited Sita to the water to clean her. Although Sita had been there two weeks ago, Ganga encouraged Sita to be cleansed once again. After Sita was done with the cleansing procedure, Valmiki came and took Sita to his hermitage. Sita was so confused and did not know what was going on. Valmiki informed Sita about the situation and Sita was shocked. Time passed and it was time for Sita to go into labor. Sita thanked the Gods for providing a place to give birth. Sita had mixed emotions about her life at that point, but she was able to give birth to two handsome sons, Kusha and Lava.
author: Himachal Pradesh
Author's Note
I decided to retell the story of Sita when she was abandoned by Rama. When I read this story, I thought it was very heartbreaking. I felt sorry for Sita. Because of the fact that Sita had to live with Ravana for years, many people talked bad about her and said she was not innocent. After ten thousand years, she was able to become pregnant. Even though she was pregnant, Rama was bothered by all the gossip and rumors going around about Sita. Due to all the gossip and rumors, Rama decided to abandon Sita at the Ganges. For the most part, I kept the original story. I added some details on how Valmiki and King Janaka were friends. I thought adding a character like Janaka to the story made the story more interesting because he was able to save Sita from her misery. There were changes made to the time frame of the story because I made Sita go to the Ganges two times. I inserted the picture of Valmiki's Hermitage in the story. I picked this picture because Valmiki's hermitage was where Sita gave birth to her sons. I thought it was significant for her to give birth at a place other than her palace.
Bibliography
- Buck, William (1976). Ramayana: King Rama's Way.
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Jae, I liked that you chose to write about Sita's abandonment. However, I wish that you would have told this from someone's specific perspective such as Sita or Rama because it would make the reader more invested into the story and give you a chance to expand on details that the book did not. Overall, it was pretty well written, but there were some simple mistakes that I believe could be easily fixed by reading it aloud such as extra words, missing words, or the wrong use of words.
ReplyDeleteJae, what a great story! I really enjoyed the detail you added about the relationship between King Janaka and Valmiki. I always find it very harsh that Rama decided to abandon Sita over some rumors! You think he would be able to see past that, especially since she is pregnant! Good job!
ReplyDeleteNow that we are well into The Mahabharata, it was refreshing visiting your portfolio and reading about Sita and Rama again! After reading through your tale I only saw a couple of things that really jumped out at me.
ReplyDelete"He hides behind the tree to listen.." In the previous sentence, Rama is walking around a garden, and if he does hide behind "a" tree I don't think readers will be able to envision what "the tree" looks like. If that makes sense.
In the second-to-last paragraph of your story, there is a line "... he told he's good friend..." If I am not mistaken, I think you meant to say "his" instead of "he's," but this is again an easy fix!
What I enjoyed the most was how you turned this sad and terrifying experience for Sita into one where she finds consolation. She does not seem overly upset with Rama, but understands that it is his will as a king, and not as a husband, that has caused him to order her abandonment. Your story was very well written and it has great flow that even a reader unaware of the Ramayana would be able to understand.
Hello Jae! I chose to read this story because the abduction of Sita is super heartbreaking—just like you mentioned. The story of Rama and Sita is one of the closest to my heart so I’m glad that you wrote one over their journey. It saddens me that Rama and Sita were happy for thousands of years and then one day Rama overheard something and completely did a 180. That doesn’t seem like true love to me! However, we all know how detrimental pride can be to a relationship. I like how you mentioned that people talked how Sita “lived” with Ravana. That’s ludicrous! She was abducted and held as a prisoner, not willingly living there with a man who isn’t her husband. Despite how terrible it is that she was being abandoned, I’m glad that you kept the ending where she was saved and was able to go into labor in a safe place.
ReplyDeleteHey Jae! I really loved your story especially because this event of people gossiping about Sita and her being left all by herself really was one of my favorite moments to write about too. The story of Sita and Rama (not just because it is the one that is mostly talked about) is my favorite because their love is so beautiful and pure, but this moment was so sad for me since it shattered all that I loved about them. I like how you just had it in third person rather than first person because I read a bunch of those stories and it is nice to see something different. Though you can't change this anymore, it would have been kind of cool to see it from Lakshmana's perspective since that is something I have yet to see. Aside from all that, you were pretty good with your grammar, very minor mistakes there. It was very well-written and I enjoyed the whole thing so good job! I'm glad you put this story in your portfolio.
ReplyDeleteHello Jae!
ReplyDeleteYou did a great job retelling a HUGE part of the Ramayana because many of the events in your story take place over thousands of years and you were able to combine them into a short story!
Sita was my favorite character in the Ramayana so I’m glad you portrayed her in a positive light. It wasn’t her fault that she got kidnapped and then people gossiped about her! I’m glad that you ended your story with the birth of her kids because that shows that even though Rama abandoned her she has a second chance to provide a good life for her sons!
I noticed in the first paragraph of your story you misspelled Ayodha in the third sentence! But it’s a tough word to spell and you just put a ‘N’ instead of an ‘H’.
I really liked your story and loved how you were able to break down SO many events and make them simple and easy to read. Great job!!
Jae,
ReplyDeleteyou did a nice job with this story. Some of your sentence structure was a little off and made it difficult to follow. I included some edits below that I hope will help! The story provided a broad inclusion of a lot of characters, with no one character in particular that you focused on. Since the story is about Sita, maybe you could add a little more of her thoughts and feelings.
"One day, Sita heard a great news which might change her life." - "news" here should be singular, not plural.
"Every women who got pregnant visited the Ganges to make the body clean." - it should be "woman", singular.
"However, there were some unexpected tragedy that were waiting for Sita. " - tragedy should be plural "unexpected tragedies"
"After couple weeks..." - should be "after a couple weeks..."
"It has been only a couple weeks since Sita came back from Ganges..." 0 should be "It had been only a couple weeks..."
"To carry put this will of King Janaka, Valmiki was going to save Sita no matter what." - I think you meant to say "To carry out this will of King Janaka..."
"Lakshmana and Sumantra lett Sita at the Ganges river." - Not sure what you're trying to say here. Did you mean to say that they led her to the Ganges?
Hey Jae!
ReplyDeleteI really liked the style you chose to tell this story. The narrative is so matter of fact! You really put the information in a good chronological order that is easy to follow and understand. Your story gives us enough information without being overbearingly detailed in areas that are insignificant to the plot of your story. It is so streamlined!
It has been a while since we were reading the Ramayana so this story is quite refreshing. I had completely forgotten about her exile until I read your story! I also found it quite sad that Rama exiled Sita all because of something she had no control over. She is finally able to have children which should be a wonderful time, but just like that her life heads in a completely different direction.
I did not see any grammar or punctuation issues. This story is so polished! Edited to perfection!
Hi Jae! I like that you chose to write about Sita’s abandonment. Your story had a great language and is very easy to understand. It has been so long since I read this story; it was nice to get to reflect on it again. Overall it seems very polished and I like that you didn’t use any dialog. Which is how I have written a majority of my stories.I think you did a great job telling a very detailed story in just enough detail as well. I am kinda sad I just now happened upon your stories so late in the semester!! First off I love the layout of your blog. All the labels being at the top make them really easy to find. The color you chose is also great and the background is for whatever reason relaxing. I think you have done a great job on your stories and your blog overall!
ReplyDeleteHi Jae!
ReplyDeleteLooks like I get to read more of your stuff, since I happened to pick your blog to do for my blog comments and now we are in the same group for project commenting! Your storytelling post retells a pretty tragic story that would be pretty difficult to read if it weren’t so detached. Your story retains a similar feeling throughout it, which I believe was your intent, so good job on that! I tend to go the opposite route and make my stories drastically different from the original versions! I think it was a nice touch to add another character to the tory to provide comfort and friendship to Sita’s life during this period of time. I also agree that her giving birth outside her marital home would likely have been a pretty significant detail of her life. During those times, I think most any woman would have wanted to be in her own home, as comfortable as possible given the circumstances, were she to be giving birth or even just pregnant. In modern times, I still think women want to be in their own home during their pregnancy and if they choose to go to the hospital for the birth—as most women do—they likely want to return home as soon as possible to recover and care for their newborn child. I do find it interesting that some women still choose at home births and I hear that being able to be in a familiar, comfortable setting has to do with their decision in this matter a lot of the time.
I left a few minor corrections below for you to consider:
“Sita was still at the Ganges and one day, Rama was walking around the garden to refresh his mind.” This is a run-on sentence, but here is a simple fix: replace the comma with a semi-colon! This is pretty minor and easy to fix, should you decide to.
This is a great story about Sita's abandonment. Your story flowed very well, and was so easy to read. You did a great job with the details, yet stuck very well to the original story. It's hard to imagine a man as honorable as Rama just abandoning his wife like he did. Simply because of rumors an entire family was broken apart, and Sita was even pregnant! I can't believe people began speaking rumors simply because Sita "lived" with Ravana. I feel like it should be known that Ravana is cursed and can't force himself on women! Obviously Sita would have no problem being faithful to Ravana even as his prisoner for a long time. It's just ridiculous that Rama left her! I'm glad that Sita was able to give birth in a safe place near someone who could even help her raise her two beautiful sons. You did a great job on this story, and your portfolio overall looks really good! Your blog also looks good, and has a very easy to navigate layout! Awesome job!
ReplyDeleteHello Jae O. You did a great job of catching the reader’s interest right away. This story made me think less of Rama. For being such a great guy he sure treats Sita like crap sometimes. Rama wouldn’t even get rid of Sita himself? He sent his brother to do his dirty work, what a great King! You did a really great job on this story!
ReplyDelete